so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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