it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So squirting runs in the family.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
