belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
