Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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