i just had sex bonerless
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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