i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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