so that wasnt chicken after all
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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