Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
