I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
