which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
