Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she smelled like a LAN party
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
