Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
