rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i think my cat just said my name.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
