I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
