we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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