I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He passed out mid-signature
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
