guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
