There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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