Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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