You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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