I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I am one with the molecules
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
