Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
