420 ftw
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
