I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
