Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
