as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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