a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
