these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
