He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
