the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
