Already got asked if we're dating
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
