pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
