Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
