let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
