how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
