Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He shit in the fireplace
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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