after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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