i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize