she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
