Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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