Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize