Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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