i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
