dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
