OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
