So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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