i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
