I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
