I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
