he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize