i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
