I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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