Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
