the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
