I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
tell me about the fingering
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