when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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