So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize