Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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