Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
