i jhust puked up my retainher.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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