I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
