Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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