it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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