rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
