I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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