I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
