You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
