in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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