I love black thongs
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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