I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize