everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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