Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
