Define "chronic" masturbator.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
