I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize