she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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