Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
