You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
