Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
