Say something about gay babies.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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