Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
