I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize