So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
