omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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