girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
