So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
