What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
