But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
